Random Muttering 2/2/2015: Dreams

You Are Never Too OldWhile tutoring, my student asked me, “When you were young, did you have a dream?”

I was not able to answer quickly so he followed it up with another question, “Did it come true?”

I never thought that such a simple question will leave me dumbfounded and have me pondering until I got home. The truth is, I did not dream of being a teacher. Sure my sister and I role played when we were much younger but I never really wanted this.

What did I dream of when I was younger?

I remember telling everyone I wanted to be a doctor, then a lawyer, later on – a journalist. But I never really pursued them. I only said that because my Dad said it would be cool. Come to think of it, because I am such a dutiful daughter, I always ask my parents what they want me to be. Not because I want to please them but only because I don’t really know what I want. My Dad used to tell me that I am like a rolling stone, I gather no moss because I was so fickle minded that even they get confused.

When I reached my teens, I wanted to be whatever my friends want to be or want me to be. Before I even turn eighteen, reality presented itself to me. Both my parents got sick and at that time, my only goal was to have a steady flow of income so that we will not borrow money from others anymore. Soon after, my father passed away and before I know it, I was the second head of the family.

I never dreamed of anything big. All I wanted was to fulfill my duties. I wanted my younger sisters to finish college and my mother to stop working and enjoy her life.

If you could call that a dream, it came true.

It’s time for me to dream of something new.

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