Random Muttering: Rainy Nights

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Mono no aware – (物の哀れ), literally “the pathos of things”, and also translated as “an empathy toward things”, or “a sensitivity to ephemera”, is a Japanese term for the awareness of impermanence (無常 mujō), or transience of things, and both a transient gentle sadness (or wistfulness) at their passing as well as a longer, deeper gentle sadness about this state being the reality of life. (source: Wikipedia)

Since reading this word somewhere in the internet, I have been trying my best to understand what it means. I somehow do but I can’t properly explain it. This is perhaps why it has no direct English translation. It’s an abstract idea, a feeling which were beyond me to explain.

It has been raining in my country for about a week now. A lot of memories, both good and bad, happened on such nights. I usually feel nostalgic during this season – replaying events in the past and wishing to be back. There were adventures which I wished to do again but never had a chance to. There were people who I met and wished to meet again. There were feelings I felt which I wished to feel again.

In my years of existence, I have learned that all things change. As time goes by, the desire to go back to the past is gone. Those adventures, people, and feelings are meant to be temporary. That even if I tried to make them stay longer, they would be gone somehow. It’s sad to realize that they are just there in the past. However, I have accepted that they have passed. It was real, I was there and it’s beautiful.

This is perhaps my mono no aware. There will be more rainy nights in my life. There will be more new beautiful memories. They will all fade away.

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Random Muttering 7/19/2018: My comfort

I just started a new job a few days ago. I was really nervous and excited because I have wanted to try this out since I heard that a job like this exists. I don’t have a lot of expectations, I just wanted it to be fun.

Then on the very first day, I made a stupid mistake. I received a complaint because I was not thorough enough. I was not able to sleep that day. I couldn’t taste the food I was eating. I was so embarrassed I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. The anxiety was too much, I wanted to resign after just a day of working.

I know I shouldn’t be beating myself up too much. Even the higher-ups didn’t say much. My mind is telling me it’s okay but I can’t seem to shake off that numbing feeling. I feel like hundreds of needles are pricking me and I want to scream.

So I prayed, I prayed for comfort and rationality. I prayed that He would touch the heart of those I offended, I prayed for friends who could make me feel better. Once more, God didn’t fail me.

Friends asked me how I was and told me what I wanted to hear. It’s alright, I could still make up. That one mistake should not ruin everything. Truly, He is always there – listening and waiting for me to come to Him.

Day One Teacher’s Outing 2018: Coron Town Tour

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LTWA teachers and staff @ NAIA terminal 4

At the end of each school year, LTWA teachers and staff go on an out of town trip as a reward for a successful school year. This year, we visited the beautiful Coron, Palawan. Our relationship as colleagues may have ended but our friendship continues so we are all hoping that we can still find the time to go on trips together after this.

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the black van of R@R Bayview Inn – our airport pick-up and service for the town tour

We booked our tickets around October last year and were lucky to avail of Cebu Pac’s promo. We reserved a nice accommodation in the middle of Coron Town, R2R Bayview Inn. They also provided our airport transfer as well as our town and island hopping tours.

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LTWA teachers and staff at the reception area of R2R

Our plane took off at around 6 in the morning and landed at about 8 am in Busuanga. R2R’s black van was waiting for us. The airport was about thirty minutes away from Coron town. After freshening up and settling in our rooms, we went on our town trip. They charged us P500 per head which is really cheap because a tricycle ride would cost around P800.

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at 300+ steps – syempre confirmed pa rin ang kilay LOL

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The cross at the top… WE DID IT!!!

We stopped briefly at Lualhati Park before we headed to Mt. Tapyas. It was named as such because a part of it was chipped off when the Japanese forces bombed it in WWII. There are 721 steps leading to Mt. Tapyas view deck. I told myself before the climb that I would take it slowly and enjoy the view as I go up. However, I am not as young as I would like to believe to. It was really grueling! Good thing some kids were selling ice candies along the way I was able to gain a little of my energy back.

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Tired but still wanting to explore

After climbing those steps, we went directly to Maquinit hot springs, one of the few saltwater hot springs in the world. We were at Ace water spa last December and I remember not being able to withstand the heat of certain tea pools. I dipped my foot and it was around 39 – 40 degrees. I felt like we were being boiled to serve as dinner for whatever mythical creature was lurking under the water nearby.

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Eerily beautiful

Not far from the spring is a body of saltwater, a part of the sea and I can’t remember my geography classes. Anyway, the water is not moving, there was a little fog. It was eerily beautiful that I can’t help but take selfies. I couldn’t care less if some giant crocodile, shark or even Nessie herself suddenly gobbles me whole.

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selfie muna bago maging dinner ng undin char!

Well, going in the hot spring is not as difficult as it was in the spa. I dipped my feet, then my lower leg, then my knee and before I even know it I was standing in the pool that reached to my chest. It was some sort of a therapy for all my aching muscles from that grueling Mt. Tapyas climb.

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Kiber kung ano nasa dako pa roon

Since it was late and we wanted to start out early the next day, we did not stay long. I bought Salonpas patches and some Mefenamic Acid on the way back. The town tour was not a part of our original plan; we just wanted the island hopping trips. Good thing we availed of this because it surely is fun. =)

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Tired but happy =)

Goodbye LTWA

As a teacher, the end of the school year is both a triumphant and sad moment. It was great to see that the kids improved and developed a lot but a bit painful to realize that you won’t see each other in the classroom anymore. Every year, I try not to be emotional and each time, I fail. The thought of the coming school year and meeting new kids make me go by. This year is different though.

This will be the last in LTWA, my home for the last twelve years. The school will be closing its doors. Batch 2018 is the last Witty Kids class for me.

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At this moment I am not sure if I would continue teaching or try my luck in a different industry. I would surely miss the kids and I am very thankful for the trust that they and their families have given me all through the years. This is an opportunity for me to expand my world and see new horizons, a chance for me to grow as a teacher and as an individual.

Goodbye LTWA. We made a lot of memories of together, you helped me grow and have been a witness to my numerous joys and heartaches. You will forever be a part of me.

My BFF’s Wedding

The night before she told me that she never dreamed that this would happen.

She’s all jittery and her stomach started acting up a few minutes before. She was crying as she went down the car. She cried even more when she entered the hall. All throughout, I cried with her. The overwhelming joy she felt, I felt some of it too. I have shallow tears but I can stop myself most of the time. On that day, I let it go. I was too happy for her.

We’ve been friends since college. I witnessed her heartaches, her search for the right one. She almost gave up but he came. She’s turning forty this year, he is in his fifties. This is the first and hopefully, the last marriage for both of them.

It was a good day, everyone was happy. It was a day of love, a day of joy.

It is just the beginning. ♥

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Rambling Muttering #1: Arf! Arf!

2018 hit me with a lot of surprises. Even now on its 46th day I am still dizzy with all the changes I have to adjust to. It is scary yet exciting, sad yet liberating. Tomorrow will be the Chinese New Year and I would like to at least write one post to welcome the year of the dog. Some things I did on the first few days of this year are:

  • I cut my hair off, it’s almost reaching my butt and it’s getting harder to comb and shampoo it. Now I feel lighter than ever.
  • I met up with old friends. High school friends and we had a blast.
  • One of my good friends had a mild stroke. She just celebrated her 40th birthday a few days prior. It was a warning to us, a sort of wake up call to be more conscious with our lifestyle and eating habits.
  • My best friend is finally getting married and I am going to their province. It’s my first time to travel alone.
  • I am about to face a crossroad in my life. I can see it from afar and I am mentally and emotionally preparing myself for the day I will make my final choice. It’s stressful. Right now it’s a battle between my heart and my head.

I am listening to those yearly forecasts and I heard somewhere that this is a good year to meet my soulmate. I’ve been hearing that for years now but I still want to believe it. LOL.

Anyway, Gong Xi Fa Cai!

May we all have a prosperous and joyous doggie year ahead. =)

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Keep Me Awake =)

It’s first day back to the real world!

So far, nothing special or spectacular happened. It was just another day at work. Thankfully, I am not feeling lazy and I feel like I made the most of my break.  I just hope I’ll have enough energy for the whole day and I won’t be feeling sleepy later because I did not get enough shut-eye last night.

The sleepiness usually comes after lunch. Sometimes I feel like I am a swine, I feel sleepy after eating. Since it’s just the middle of the day and I still have work to do, here are some things I do to keep myself awake.

  1. Coffee – caffeine used to jolt me up but I noticed that my tolerance gets a little higher each time                                                                              23318758_10155456888154219_1900225899_n
  2. Wash face- if only I could take a bath, I would. The splash of cold water is enough to keep me on my toes for a few hours.       23318501_10155456909779219_2016308879_n
  3. Exercise – these stairs and the corridor are good for a slow jog which keeps my blood pumping.                                 23318558_10155456887884219_377511410_n
  4. Spicy food – i love them =) Once the spiciness touches my tongue, it would be hard to go dozing.                                  23315954_10155456888079219_1627314571_n
  5. Power nap – 15 – 30 minutes are my ideal. I have this secret spot in our library. After I have my nap, I feel so refreshed like I had a complete eight hour sleep.             23316191_10155456888049219_1124942549_n

Sometimes one of them is enough, there are times I use a combination or two or three methods and I know it’s really bad if I had to do all of them. As much as possible, I don’t want to do any because the best way to ward off sleepiness  is have enough sleep the night before.